The In-depth edition is a personal testimonial of life with kids by moms, dads and experts who also happen to moms and dads.
It is the tribe to share the highs and lows with. We touch upon serious topics through personal experiences, humour and hard truths.
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How much more emotional bandwidth can we have?
These 3 Daily Actions can shift your mindset
9/4/2021
by Maria Karachaliou, Founder of Momizen and mom of 3
There are few things more frustrating than arriving to the end of each day being mentally empty. It happens to most people and lately I’ve been looking for ways prevent the veggie brain instead of trying to cure it at the end of a long day.
As a mother, wife, friend, daughter, professional, and the list goes on, there are days in which I take decisions and define the course of my day automatically rather than intentionally. In the same way that I shift from one administrative matter to the other, I also pick up one child, while dropping off the other. Within the day all tasks such as preparing the table for a meal, dressing up, doing groceries, going to the post office or the bank, while thinking about dinner, homework, playdates, snack again, dentist and and baths, cuddles, drama and crisis management, take-up mental bandwidth. So that when the day is done, and the lights are turned down I am left wondering how did my brain get so empty?
This doesn’t happen too often, but when it does it sets off an alarm warning me to take control of my day and life. No matter how many small tasks must be done, I should be running them not the other way around. Despite extensive yoga practice and meditation in the last few years before I became a parent, motherhood still manages to swallow up most of my mental bandwidth, which is worrisome if I didn’t already have a toolshed of self-support mechanisms, but that’s a different topic.
So, I talked about this with friends who are both parents and non-parents and it became obvious immediately that this feeling of losing touch with the present moment during the daily routine was not unique to me. I sat and thought about how to deal with it only to realise that prevention is an easier hurdle to overcome than solving it at the end of a long day. Barbara Cortella, a fellow mom of three and certified Professional and Parent Coach, opened up to me about how she stays out of the daily routine cyclone that wants to pull her in, with the 3 action a day strategy. I listened more about it and it seemed intuitive, quick to prepare and attainable.
All you need to do is...
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A Yes Parent picks her battles, so everyone wins
21/3/2021
by Maria Karachaliou, Founder of Momizen and mom of 3
The inspiration for this story is the movie Yes Day, that I stumbled upon on Netflix kids. My 3 kids and I took the bait and pressed play. To be honest what struck me about the film was the title. When my kids were toddlers I remember being a yes mom every single day. Disclaimer: If the following story was part of a movie it would be preceded by Do not try this at home. Each family works differently and what works for mine might not work in yours.
In my case there are 3 questions that I consider each time I say ‘Yes’ to my kids:
- Do I have time to commit and be available for this ‘yes’ moment?
- Am I prepared for the worst-case scenario?
- Can I give up some control?
The no’s I would say while my children were toddlers were seldom but consistent. I avoided to decline requests that I would eventually give-in to, because I could not afford to lose my credibility to toddlers. I picked my battles and gave an affirmative glance to almost everything that was not life-threatening. With 3 children under 3 years old I simply did not have time to keep my eyes on all three all the time. Nevertheless, I wanted my kids to have fun while building self-confidence, and I still do. So, I decided to invest time in developing their personal risk assessment skills as early as possible, hopefully it would also pay off in the future when I’m not around.
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Signing up your kids for extracurriculars is an investment.
It does not mean more free time for you.
1/3/2021
by Maria Karachaliou, Founder of Momizen and mom of 3
I am a mom of three small kids and love to have fun with them. I also believe that connecting kids with creative and educational activities and sports, as early as possible in their formative years, helps them to discover what stimulates them, to learn to set goals, and eventually build confidence to be open to new experiences in the future. As a parent what matters to me is that they can make educated choices about themselves and what makes them happy, in the future, with and without me.
While I too need time for self-development as an individual, a parent, a wife, a friend, a business owner, and a member of my community, the last 7 years (since I gave birth for the first time) I have been hardwired to help my kids learn to navigate in a fast paced world a few years down the road with confidence and purpose.For this I believe they need to be exposed to the world outside our immediate environment, through traveling, new experiences and meeting people from different backgrounds. On a daily basis, there are things that I can support them with but my husband and I can only fill the cup of experiences that their young minds can enjoy only so much. This is why we happily stand back when they need to be guided by an expert and prompt them in the right direction when they need us.
As soon as my children turned 4, 5 and 6 years old...